Thursday, September 24, 2015

New Speed Hump

Dateline: Phoenix

For weeks the rumors had been circulating. A major change was coming. The next big thing. Standby, just wait, be patient. It would be worth it. Everything would change. One would mark the time and place when one first heard of it. What came before would be forever separated from what came after. Anticipation built, and then built some more. People gathered in crowds the night before in front yards, around makeshift fires and simmering kettles, sipping beverages and murmuring their theories of what was coming, what it would be like, and how life is changing so fast these days. Several social networks were overwhelmed with hashtags and check-ins and selfies. Rumors of collaborations with famous people who would come and speak about the significance of the occasion circulated. Local news held their opening spots free, sent crews, reserved satellite time to upload footage. Travel itself would be altered, the teasers suggested. Motion formerly restricted to the horizontal plane would elevate in verticality, the philosophers intoned.

After the ribbons were cut, the speeches made, the headlines written and edited, the crowds dispersed, and the "first humpers" drove back and forth across it many times to inaugurate it, only the quiet street with its new prominence remained. A lone cyclist commuter passed, momentarily transfixed by the shock of the new, before riding on to work.



  1. A three-foot gap between the bump and the gutter pan would have been cycling friendly while not encouraging excessive four wheeler speed.

    1. This flat top hump doesn't seem to affect your average medium speed bicycle commuter very much. Cars hitting them at 30+mph on the other hand seem to have a bad experience.


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