Friday, October 26, 2012

Spiders in the Belfry

Arachnids in the attic. Slightly preferable to bats. Slightly.

Inspectors have discovered a considerable infestation of spiders in the OSG belfry. While not considered permanent, the inspectors strongly urged suspension of operations until the arachnid infestation can be cleared, as spiders are a known precursor to a full bats in the belfry condition. According to the inspectors, these infestations can take up to a few weeks to fully clear. 

To be clear, we here at OSG consider ourselves arachnophiles. Under rocks. In a field. Up on a cactus. Making webs in the flowers. Daddy longlegs skittering across my bike frame--did he ride the whole way to work? The black widow nursing the tattered mess under the patio chair, she's not doing anyone any harm. The one resting on silken netting sparkling with dew-jewels in the rising sun viewed by a backpacker cradling the day's first cup of coffee: are they cold too when the sun rises?

But not in the belfry. From the belfry they must be relocated to those other, wilder places. Which takes time, and patience, and gentle handling of them, one by one into safe transport containers, then moved singly or in carefully selected small compatible groups, by bicycle, to a natural location far from the nearest street, or belfry. 

Standard OSG arachnid relocation protocol includes post-relocation observation, lit by the rays of the rising sun. Also there must be dew, and coffee, to ensure successful and comfortable establishment, primarily to prevent dissatisfaction which can lead to return to the belfry. Which would obviously render the whole exercise pointless.

Back once they're all gone. Happy Halloween, all y'all.


  1. Take it easy and enjoy. I look forward to more fun when you return.

  2. Happy Halloween. Nicely and creepily done.

  3. :D AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Ride away!


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