Saturday, November 19, 2011

I just want to ride


Forecast in the 70s, calm, sunny. Saturday. Don't want to work, don't want to think, don't want to blog, don't want to do much of anything else, I just want to ride. No jacket required, just spinning in sunshine. No dwelling on the unmitigated stubbornness of residents installing speed humps to "calm cyclists", and no getting upset about the recently named "gold" bicycle friendly city of Scottsdale burning cyclists and bowing to developers and residents over the Hidden Hills easement. Query to public policy-makers: when would a decision process based on the noise of a vast majority of car-owning property owners and developers ever decide in favor of a tiny minority like cyclists in car-centric place like Phoenix/Scottsdale, if the choice is based only on votes and opinion instead of other considerations long-term sustainability, livable streets, in fact, anything other than property ownership and automobile dominance? It feels like the BFC Gold city has lost its way already. Scottsdale Transportation Commission, you voted because residents don't want to look at cyclists, period. You caved to the fear of the MENACING LYCRA HORDE. No, not going to dwell on those events, because I don't want to grow fat, sedentary, and bitter, driving in my sealed metal box from work to big box store to the comfort of TV and back again in a suburban nowhere cityscape. I'm going to go ride and show my BIKEY FACE proudly to the world, smile and wave at everyone. The more bitter you are about what the car lifestyle has made you, the more I want to let my bikey face shine.

I'm going to go out and take the measure of the MENACING LYCRA HORDE who are competing in the Ironman in Tempe today. I imagine they, too, will be making their best bikey face, rather than their bitter automobile faces. Yes, I just want to ride. Count me as a proud and happy member in good standing of the horde.

Another neighborhood menaced by the horde.

Scouts for the MENACING LYCRA HORDE, looking for new property owners to piss off.


  1. About those humps. How do they get water to drain with humps running from road curb to curb? Even the crankiest HOA would stop short of such an action around Dallas.

  2. Steve, it's more important to thwart the MENACING LYCRA HORDE than to ensure proper drainage, or to stick to an agreement. I mean, what's more important here? Let's focus on the clear and present danger presented by fit, healthy, focused athletes riding bicycles on the street. Shiver. All I can say it, I am so glad that all that go down my street are speeding trucks and imports with exhaust tips, rather than cyclists. I can only imagine the trauma that a crowd of beautiful fit people would inflict on my car-oriented cityscape.


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