Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Date Palms and Shortwave Antenna With Little Birds


Do little birds affect your SWR?. Does working too hard affect the quality and or quantity of your blog posts? Does SWR affect little birds? In the sense that, higher SWR would mean the antenna would be slightly more comfortable for their little feet to grasp due the lower quality, lower power of the emitted signal? I mean, not like chest pains, headaches, blackouts, insomnia, backaches, somnolence, or random outbursts of unexplained crying, but less blogging slash lower quality blogging could be some kind of indicator, right? In the sense that, higher stress would mean fewer little bird visitors choosing to alight on your blogtenna, less often, due to lower quality, lower power, less comfort for the little blog bird visitors to grasp onto? Could you therefore look up into the sky at an antenna between date palms, and, say, count the birds and derive an average, seasonally adjusted, which would yield an indication of SWR? Could you, say, look up from your desk one night, over top of the stack of work, OK probably not an actual physical stack of work because all the work is digital and or interpersonal so more of a metaphorical or really big honking digital slash interpersonal pile of stuff to work on, your IN buffer is stuffed to the gills and your OUT buffer is woefully inadequately bereft of items which were recently in the IN buffer but were processed by you sufficiently to be checked off the list and "placed" in the OUT buffer, no not nearly enough there, and while overlooking this derive an average, seasonally adjusted, of blogilicious birdies alighting on your blogtenna which would yield some indication of work actual vs. work optimal say, or perhaps work actual vs. work kicked back at you by mismatched impedance with your boss or client or both divided by work successfully delivered? 

One tricky factor with the whole assess antenna performance with bird counting project would be knowing when actual shortwave transmissions were occurring. For one when the vehicle with the big ass whip antenna is parked in the driveway because obviously when not parked ham ops are taking place elsewhere and bird SWR may be relevant there but the big old beamie antenna up among the date palms is going to be waveless and at that time possibly covered with birds with happy feet not being at all affected by 1 kilowatt or whatever of massive shortwave power minus SWR and other losses of course. So that's me out on the corner with the wideband RF meter looking for signal from the direction of the palm trees and counting birds sitting on the antenna recording the results in a Moleskine notebook with my exquisitely sharp Mirado Black Warrior #2 pencil attempting to derive a seasonally adjusted average. Avoiding, or at least postponing, one might hope, in the process, the chest pains, headaches, blackouts, insomnia, backaches, somnolence, or random outbursts of unexplained crying

And then in the grand scheme of things, correlating the quality and or quantity of blog posts with my stress level BASED ON the number of pages I fill up with bird sitting on the beamie antenna up among the date palm trees statistics, or as I just referred to it the whole assess antenna performance with bird counting project, to see if working too much while negatively impacting blog positively impacts remote indirect SWR measurement (henceforth "the project"). Knock knock, yes, hi you don't know me but I'm the guy on the bicycle who stops by on many occasions often appearing rushed or stressed due to an overburdened overstuffed IN buffer combined with an utterly ghost town like OUT buffer but who nonetheless withdraws a fine Moleskine notebook and an exquisitely sharpened Mirado Black Warrior #2 lead pencil from his trunk bag while occasionally pointing a wideband RF meter in the general direction of those date palms over there and appearing to note the number of birds alighting on that beamie antenna up there no not the yagi the big one on top. Yes? Well over several let's just say consecutive time periods of gathering what is admittedly an embarrassing number of pages of birds sitting on that antenna data, in service of what I've grown to fondly refer to as "the project", I've found that there actually doesn't seem to be any relationship whatsoever between SWR and number of small birds sitting up there, and while it may have something to do with type or sizing of bird or foot conductivity or beak inductance or the "dry heat" because it is one or some such, or could be that "the project" would get kicked up a notch if you would go to microwave frequencies instead, I think it's more likely that they are not affected much by it one way or the other. So? I think I also found that I just like riding my bike around and making marks in my fine Moleskine notebook with an exquisitely sharpened Mirado Black Warrior #2 pencil regardless of the reason almost like I'm just looking for an excuse if you know what I mean, but perhaps more importantly I find that when I do so the headaches, blackouts, insomnia, backaches, somnolence, or random outbursts of unexplained crying are less of a concern than when I was so utterly consumed by the overstuffed IN buffer. Um. Say I noticed that monster whip on your vehicle is that the sort of thing you could adapt to mount on a bicycle?


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