Thursday, August 25, 2011

Unless Your Bike Has An Exploding Dye Pack



DON'T LOCK UP LIKE THIS!

First I was considering some sort of pin-stabilized frame security, where you park the bike, remove a pin or similar key piece from the frame, perhaps leaving a key structural member joined only by duct tape or some other temporary and frangible material, such that a thief who hops on and rides away would find the bike disintegrating beneath him once he got up to speed.

Then I thought, no, in the first place probably too expensive based on what frame couplers cost to add to a frame, and I thought instead, how about an exploding dye pack like they use in banks! I picture the thief riding off on someone's work transport, and three minutes later, PAFF!!! a giant, and I mean GIANT, cloud of indelible bright pink dye engulfs thief and bicycle in the middle of the street. Mounted on or near the stem, said exploding dye pack would give bike thieves a bright pink surprise.

Conceptual view of exploding dye pack bicycle security feature

But, lacking such a dye pack, you don't want to lock up your bike as in the first photo, unless you want to come back and find that a thief took advantage of that quick-release to quick-release your bike and leave only the wheel locked up. See what I mean? 

PAF!! Man that would be satisfying, if just for a moment.

6 comments:

  1. My first thought was to forget the exploding dye and stick to straight explosives.

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  2. On second thought, at the risk of exposing myself as a snob, would YOU steal even an unlocked modern Schwinn?

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  3. I'd pay to see that.
    The explosion, I mean.

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  4. Steve, no I wouldn't steal that machine, although I don't think I would steal anything. Now that I've just said, that, we need to cook up a scenario where I WOULD steal it: OK, zombie apocalypse, about to be overrun, out of ammo, and such a machine sitting unlocked and available for escape: I would hop on it. But only to escape the undead.

    limom, do you know where I could source a suitable exploding dye pack? Any thoughts on a reliable triggering mechanism that would go off suddenly while sitting at the bike rack, coloring all the bikes around it? And that won't go off accidentally while I'm riding my own bike? Now there's a video...

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  5. I've seen worse. Bikes with locks on them that appear to be attached to something but in fact are just draped over them.

    And, I was going to mention the problem of it exploding on your own self. Probably not what you want.

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  6. I just want to mention, looking back at this post, that the crappy placement of this rack makes such poor lockup technique more likely. Similar to the low derailleur-buster racks, this encourages thru-the-wheel non-locking.

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