Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Mysterious Route of the Raging Rhinos



What does it mean???

I was reading Jason Franz's latest blog post on Jackalope Ranch, Cycle: The Mystery of the Green Arrows, and I thought to myself, I have to keep on the lookout for green arrows sprayed on the streets on or near bike lanes. Maybe if I came across more of the green arrows, I could add to the discussion, perhaps helping to figure out what they are, or who put them there. Jason is sold on the idea that they mark bike routes of some sort, since they appear to point down bike lanes, and I have to admit that there is a certain irrefutable logic there. 

Unfortunately, my weekend rides around Scottsdale and Tempe turned up no new green arrows of the type referred to in the article. Possibly because I totally and purposefully avoided bike lanes all weekend. On my commute Monday, however, I did turn up an orange arrow of exactly the same configuration, pointing down a bike lane, and another at the corner, indicating a right turn.


The orange route goes right...but where? And why? And who?
 
Have you ever seen markings like this? Please tell me your theories.

Currently, my theory is that they are elements of some kind of ultra-tri-mega-lalthlon training program, PSYCHOSIS: TAKE TRAINING TO THE FINAL LEVEL OF IMPLOSIVE MUSCLE DELUSION. YOUR MUSCLES WILL BE SO JACKED UP AFTER ONE WORKOUT THAT THEY WILL BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY RHINOCEROS MUSCLES, AND WHO DOESN'T WANT TO BE AS STRONG AND FAST AS A RHINO! IT'S RHINO-PSYCHOTIC MUSCLE POWER PAIN!! BUY THESE EFFING DVDS RIGHT NOW YOU NON-PSYCHOTIC NON-RHINO WEAKLING, AND I WILL THROW IN **FOR FREE** "THE SECRETS OF THE ARROW 367 MILE 117 DEGREES SUMMER BICYCLE TRAINING RIDE" IN PHOENIX THAT WILL TAKE YOU BEYOND THE FINAL RHINO LEVEL TO THE TRUE JACKED ULTRA-RHINO FITNESS ZONE!!! NOW!!! BUY!!!

They are Ultra-Rhino Muscle Psychosis Training Zone arrows. Until I learn differently. Get up. Go ride.

 

4 comments:

  1. They lead to the secret storage facility of the X-files.
    Mmmmmm.
    Scully.

    ReplyDelete
  2. People looking to drill gas wells. Oops - you're not in North Texas. Hmm. I hope you will find the Arizona answer and let us know.

    ReplyDelete
  3. They're for snipe hunters, showing which direction the snipe went.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Scully needs Rhino Psychotic training!!! Now!!!!

    The Arizona Answer needs it too!!

    Snipes: A#1 Rhino Psychotic training candidates, sad little birds!!!

    ReplyDelete

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