Sunday, December 19, 2010

Phoenix Winter Weather Bulletin

Local residents coping with the winter conditions as best they can

PHOENIX: December 19. A blast of 70F sunny winter weather struck the Phoenix area today. Local residents demonstrated their community spirit by banding together to help one another cope with these conditions. This family picked lemons off their own tree, juiced them to make lemonade, and sold it to neighbors and hardy bicyclists for 25 cents a glass. "We put ice into it to help people deal with these conditions," the man explained. "It's important for neighbors to pitch in to help neighbors any way we can."

Local cyclists were particularly hard hit by conditions. One, John Romeo Alpha, who went on a 30 mile canal ride, helped to illustrate the impacts he felt: "I couldn't decide if I should wear a t-shirt, or go shirtless. With these type of conditions, it can be tricky. For example, the wind can pick up, sending the windchill plummeting into the 60s. Or, the sun can go behind a cloud, which can be a real hassle if your shirt is tied around your waist, or worse, if you left it at home beside the pool next to the BBQ," he said, while flipping burgers on the BBQ.

There's no sign in the forecast of these conditions letting up, either. Meteorologists are warning that this weather may continue through the upcoming holiday weekend, and are directing people to make the necessary preparations for an extended bout with this weather. "People may just want to take time off from work and stay home in order to deal with this unseasonable warmth. It's just not smart to go into work when it gets like this," one said. "I'm going stop at the store to buy some extra beverages for the cooler, just to be on the safe side," he said as he headed out himself for a two week break.

When asked what precautions he planned to take, Mr. Alpha said that eventually, you get used to these conditions. He said that he has advice that he usually gives people to help them cope. Get up. Go ride.

LATE-BREAKING WEATHER UPDATE: Following the advice of local authorities, ribeye steaks were substituted for hamburgers. "When it gets like this, you can't be too careful," authorities stated.


  1. Those National Weather Service Extreme Sunlight Warnings(ESW) can be tricky.
    Stay safe!

  2. You're gonna get yours. Just wait. Meanwhile I got to go stuff some more wood in this damn stove.
    I can't imagine what it is like up north of Interstate 10.

  3. You'd better head down to the supply store for runners to lay in a supply of Endurolyte capsules in case the conditions persist. They are very helpful in avoiding dehydration.

  4. Sounds like Phoenix needs assistance from the National Guard. Take care and don't overdue it from flipping too many burgers!

  5. I'm snowed in at the moment and I just loved this post - good on you...!!

  6. Way to rub it in. It's 33 degrees currently, and that's the warmest it's been in a while, here.

  7. I will, of course, get mine, as OldFool says. When the wheel turns and the sun again gets set to BROIL here, I'll pay. But for now, I'm enjoying it.


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